Serious Guru
Serious Guru (本気になった最長老超神グル, Honki Ni Natta Saichoro Chou Kami Guru, lit. "Grand Elder Super Kami Guru Having Become Serious) is the current leader of an Alternate Namek. Power Serious Guru's power is not measurable, nor can it be sensed by mere mortals. This leads to speculation that he may possess God Ki. Very few have experienced or witnessed this power, mainly because Guru tends to lead a more peaceful, relaxed life. No one has ever dared to oppose him, as his mere presence is enough to stay their attacks. This leads some to believe that this is why neither Vegeta nor Frieza showed any signs of confrontation towards him. Guru Facts *At one point, Namek only had one sun; Guru's gravitational pull pulled Vegeta's two suns into Namek's orbit. *Frieza refrained from directly threatening Guru during their meeting, as this would have ended the arc prematurely. *Although Dr. Gero collected Frieza's cells on earth, he refrained from collecting Guru's when creating Cell. Doing so would have likely cause Cell to blow up the universe from Guru's power alone. *Kid Buu refrained from destroying Namek. This is because he fears Guru, having witnessed him opening his eyes. The traumatic experience rendered him mute save for his constant screaming. *It is spoken that Zeno destroyed six of the original eighteen universes. In truth, Guru merely stood up. *People mock Guru because he is so fat. In actuality, this is the only body suitable enough to contain his immense amounts of power. *Guru was once meant to become the God of Destruction. But he told Zeno where to shove it, and instead gave the position himself to his pet cat, Beerus. *Goku has a total of six power-ups. Guru laughs at this, as he only needs two; standing up, and opening his eyes. *There are no enemies of Guru. There are only those who will and will not be bothering Guru. *Goku's strongest technique is the Spirit Bomb. Guru's strongest technique is breathing. *Despite all of Guru's power, even he was not able to unlock Krillin's nose. *Universe 7's average Mortal Level is only 3.18 because Guru had to be ruled out of the equation; no calculation could be made to include Guru's power. *Guru never truly died on earth; he was just sick of all of the saiyan transformations and left. *Lord Slug once ate the last cookie in the jar. He is now constantly on the run, fearing Guru's wrath. *Guru laughs at the Yemma Lock. Guru only needs to furrow his brow to make someone tap out in submission. *Though Beerus and the Supreme Kai are supposed to maintain an order of cycle throughout the universe, they slack on their duties because they know Guru can do it on his own from his chair. *Guru doesn't need to eat or drink; he merely feeds off of the fear of those in his presence. *Guru created the Namekian Dragon Balls to a mere fraction of their potential size. This is because the universe would not be able to accommodate just one of them had he used all of his power. *No one knows what caused the terrible natural disaster that had befallen Namek. In truth, Guru merely yawned. *Guru never turns his head; Namek turns for him. *Namek doesn't have a night cycle. This is because the suns fear taking their eyes off of Guru. *Namekians only grow Lettuce. This is because it is the only thing that keeps Guru from becoming angry. *Guru didn't become wrinkled due to old age. He just became overcome with the stress knowing that Dragon Ball GT would become a thing. *It took two years for Ben Ramsey, the script writer of Dragon Ball Evolution, to apologize. He only decided to apologize five minutes after meeting with Guru. *Thousands of years ago, Guru once sneezed. This was how the Makyo Star was created. *While Namekian's drink water, Guru's favorite drink is distilled Black Water Mist. *Guru once played hide and seek with the kids. He counted to infinity. Twice. *Guru once killed two hundred of Frieza's soldiers. He then stood up and killed two hundred more. *The phrase "what time is it?" has no Namekian equivalence. Only Guru decides what time it is. *Guru has never been a playable character in any Dragon Ball game. No one controls Guru. *It took Dimps three whole years of being Guru's servants before he graciously allowed them to use his likeness in Dragon Ball Xenoverse 2. *Zeno only recently decided he should destroy the weaker universes, only because Guru is no longer here to put him in time out. *The Demon race is the smartest race in Dragon Ball; they created their home world on a different plane of existence to get as far away from Guru as possible. Guru scoffs; there is no "far away" from him. *When Guru taps his fingers on his arm rest, that's how many seconds you have left to live. *During the catastrophe, Guru stayed sat in his chair. The elements hold no power over him; he only believes in the element of surprise. *Time stands still for no one. Guru tells Time to sit down and be quiet. *Guru actually died one thousand years ago, but King Yemma still hasn't mustered the courage to tell him. *Guru once roundhouse kicked Bibidi. He then stood up and gave him two more. *Before Dabura goes to sleep, he checks under his bed for Guru. *As a show of his intelligence, Guru once divided by zero. This is how universes 13 to 18 were created. *Guru won a game of 'who can sit down the longest' against Thanos, Galactus, and Professor Xavier. One after the other. *Guru once split the great Namekian ocean. He told it to get out of his way; it was blocking his view of the fish. *There are no shoelaces on Guru's shoes. Nothing dares to restrain any part of Guru. *Scientists recently discovered that neutrino particles are the only thing faster than light. This is because they have yet to discover Guru. *Guru doesn't use Ki. Ki does whatever Guru wants of its own accord out of fear of being destroyed.